“I love you, I love you more, I loved you first.” Everyone wants to be loved, to know their value and worth to others, yet for so many, there is a lingering disappointment that we aren’t loved fully and completely by others. We were designed to crave love, to feel secure and nurtured, to feel as safe as a newborn swaddled in her parents loving arms. We start out in this all encompassing love of a doting parent and then one day the world crashes in and shows its true colors.
Yet, if the design is to feel unconditionally loved, then why do so many people feel alone? Why do people enter into toxic relationships seeking that unconditional love? Why do people shut others out of their lives, walk away from relationships and commitments seeking different and better. Afterall, there has to be the perfect love out there for everyone.
There is a perfect love out there for each one of us, but we are searching for love in all the wrong places. The Lord wants us to seek him to fill this desire for contentment, for peace, for unending, unconditional, all encompassing love. There is nothing we can lay at his feet that will make him turn away from us. No bad day will cause him to brush us aside. He is safe when the world is not. That yearning we feel for perfect love was created within us by him and for him.
Finding that perfect love in the Lord has the power to reshape how we view the world. It has the power to heal hurts and show us our full value. Each of us has a place in his kingdom and each of us is deserving of his love, no matter what false truths our past or others try to say about each of us. Once each of us discovers this love and fully realizes the width and depth of his ability to satisfy our deepest longing to be known, we can then show this love to others in abundance.
We want to be able to tell our spouses, our kids, our families, and our friends, “I love you more”. We should make it our goal to out love them, not because it is a competition but because we understand that each of us has “stuff” we are dealing with and each of us is unlovable at times. We don’t want that “stuff” to get in the way of loving them, even when they don’t feel lovable. If we rely on the Lord first, then we can pour out this overflowing cup of love onto them without feeling hurt if they don’t feel like reciprocating in the moment.
So then remember God tells us he loves us, we tell His people we love them more, and He reminds us he loved us first.
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19